Amanda and I have seen a good number of things in our years working weddings, but I’ll admit that six months ago I did not have a backup plan for “what if there is a global pandemic?” My guess is most other brides didn’t either (I have yet to see a checklist, no matter how extensive, dated before this year that included that item).
Perspective from both sides
As a small business ourselves, it’s hard to see others in the wedding industry struggle to find their footing during what is usually the beginning of the busy season. And in spite of everything, I have seen some great stories of people continuing to celebrate big life events (weddings, proms, baby showers, etc.) in new, appropriate-physical-distancing-observed ways.
But as a bride it feels almost impossible to plan because we don’t know what things will look like in a few weeks. And yet, what I do know is that Amanda and I can plan anything, so…
Sneak peaks
For any of you wondering: yes, I’m still getting married this summer; no, it will probably look nothing like the Pinterest board Amanda was constantly coaxing me to add to.
While we don’t know what all of the regulations will be in a couple months, we do know this virus will still be around and that non-necessary gatherings of large groups won’t be a good idea. We are currently still working out what it will ultimately look like, but the basic idea is that we will have a small ceremony on our planned date with the hopes of a large celebration with all of our family and friends when it is safe to do so.
Challenges
Would you like me to be honest? Most days I don’t know how to feel about all of this. We were just trying to nail down our save-the-date and invitation layouts when things started to close down. In the beginning I thought it might still be possible to host the wedding that was taking shape in our imaginations on the date we had planned (with a venue I fell for that just so happened to be available at a great time for us), now I wonder when it will be safe to gather again.
Beyond the legality of it all, we are truly concerned for the well-being of our family, and friends, and any staff who might work at a wedding celebration for us. A large part of a wedding is sharing the commitment you are making to each other with those who care about you, and right now the safest way to do that might be over the internet. Is that what I had dreamed of? No. I previously had no plans whatsoever to live stream such an intimate thing as exchanging vows (it’s just not my or our style) and yet now it’s part of the discussion.
Also, I’m just going to say it: it feels weird to suggest that people spend money to come see us when it might put their health at risk and so many people are living with economic instability.
Taking our own advice
Amanda and I always remind couples that when it comes to the day itself the main thing is that you’re getting married. If that part happens and everything else goes wrong (though a year ago I would have imagined that meaning the cake toppling over, missing flowers, or the food being wrong) it will all be okay. At the end of the day the reason for the celebration is to witness the commitment that is being made, and that is what my fiance and I are keeping in mind right now.
What’s helping us right now
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: everyone needs an Amanda. Right now it feels like most of our vendors are about as lost in how to plan as we are, but we are working through it. We are working on our backup plan (and possible alterations to that plan based on what local guidelines are by the time the day arrives), but having someone to help talk through the details with us is really helpful.
My fiance and I so appreciate the practical and emotional support of our family and friends. If you know someone who has a big life event coming up and it looks like their plans are going to have to change, a little reminder that you are there for them goes a long way!
We’re thinking about putting together a post with some advice and ideas based on how we’re moving forward with Isabelle’s wedding planning, let us know if that sounds like something that would be helpful and any questions you have!
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